Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Handful of Shit

Facebook offers an array of material to write about and mostly laugh at. For instance, someone posted the below stupidity as a status:
 
“I am a handful. I’m strong willed, independent, a bit outspoken, and I tell like it is. I make mistakes, I am sometimes out of control and at times hard to handle but I love and give with all my heart. If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best.”
 
Allow me to breakdown that ridiculous quote line-by-line.
 
“I’m strong willed…” A hardheaded motherfucker
“Independent, a bit outspoken…” So you’re single and have an opinion on everything.
“and I tell like it is.”  You seem to not be able to distinguish between an opinion and fact.
 
“I make mistakes…” This person lacks some common sense.
“I am sometimes out of control…” This person has emotional issues that are best left to professionals or to a strong dose of tranquilizers.
“I love and give with all my heart.” Stage 9 clinger over here.
 
“If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best.”
Translation: I should warn you, I’m a total bitch which overshadows any decent qualities I may have.
 
 

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