So the new gay guy in my department has totally snubbed me. Total act of war if I’ve ever seen one myself. It all started at 2pm…
I’m sitting at my desk, staring at the bottom right hand corner of my computer monitor waiting for 4pm. I’m bored, tired, a little sleepy and the day is just dragging. I hear a bit of a commotion going on two aisles from me. The new gay guy brought some Cuban coffee and is sharing it amongst his coworkers. Sweet! We’re in the same department, we’re only about 15 feet away, thus making us coworkers, right? WRONG!
He stops on the aisle before mine and walks back to his desk. What. The. Fuck. What are we over here in my aisle? Chopped liver? Does he know who I am? I’m the mothafuckin’ Party Planning Committee’s Senior Chairman, Director, President, Lord, Emperor, Viceroy, Supreme Leader and whatever I feel like being that day!
Now, you might think that he either ran out of coffee to distribute or that he has every right to share the coffee with whomever he wants because he bought it with his own money…perfectly logical. Screw your logic!
You know how the Indians used to respect chiefs from other tribes? By smoking together…same concept here. Being that I am part Indian somehow, this is an affront to me and the people of my aisle!