Monday, November 15, 2010

The Monday Monster

Behold! The monster that lurks in the employee parking lot! It has already claimed countless victims (I say “countless” as I haven’t been able to really count how many people, if any at all, that are victims).

So I’m walking to my friend’s car to help her carry some stuff and this 18 inch monster is lying there just soaking up all the power of the sun. It saw me and ran, probably to someone else who looked more delicious.

I ran and screamed like a school girl around the parking lot (not once, not twice but thrice)! I made it safely back to the protection of my office cubicle. I did some arduous and extensive research. I googled non-native lizard species of Florida and immediately found what I was looking for. The monster has a name! Nile Monitor. According to the the Fish & Wildlife Commission, the Nile Monitor is a threat to native species, i.e. people born in Florida. OMG! Yours truly was born in Florida! Although, if you ask me, this thing is out of luck trying to find a steady supply of people actually born here (hahahaha, am I right?!).

Anyway, Mondays are boring so I thought I'd make an adventure out of it by assigning this day of the week a monster.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Where are they now?

In life you meet a lot of people. Some stay and some go. Sometimes I wonder what the hell happened to those that didn’t stay. The follow is a list of people I just felt like thinking about :

  1. Rex. This guy I met online back when AIM chatrooms weren’t filled with bots. He was a junior and I was a senior. He always wanted to meet but the guy lived in Hialeah…HIALEAH! That was far as fuck and I didn’t know how to drive yet and even when I did learn to that was still too far. Anyway, I remember him mostly for his Barry White voice.
  2. That guy from Belen. So when I was a senior I met this guy online who went to Belen but lived in Key Biscayne. He was pretty cool because he gave me embarrassing information about ex-boyfriend (hahahaha). I was just reminded of him because he sent me this break beat song that just played in my iPod.
  3. Estefano. My first boyfriend (if you want to call him that). I was 16 and he was 19. We were just two souls in love (or just bored, hahahaha). Anyway, he broke up with me because I would go out with my friends and not him (more hahahaha). Funny story about him…I had a friend (same crazy from from previous entry) who liked him. So technically I stole this guy. HAHAHA…I’m Kelly from 90210
  4. Ingrid. My cousin dated this chick while we were in middle school. I never met her in person but we would talk on the phone a lot. We would talk from 6 PM to until 1 AM! Oh summer days…
  5. Omar. Omar was my first serious guy crush. The kind of crush that when I would see him come online I would get up from my chair and jump up and down (maybe). He was sort of this bad ass figure. He had a tough life and he was like this “rebel without a cause.” Anyway, he turned out to be a douche, hahaha! Get this, so he ends up dating my ex-boyfriend (Gay-arms) and does so behind my back, hahahahaha…I just want to know what happened to his shitty ass.
  6. Guy from Coral Park. So I met this guy from Coral Park, I think his name was Alex, and he was really cool. I met him through a mutual friend. I was probably going through a shy stage and never got to meet him.
  7. Jason. This guy was a closet case from Braddock. I remember him constantly telling me I was cute and I would tell him to meet up during lunch so we can be alone. BUT HE ALWAYS BAILED ON ME. What a flake!