Monday, November 28, 2011

Modern Day Horror

I hate to be that gay guy giving fashion advice. I really do. However, I find that I really should tell you people about this. This horrible offense to the eyes. Gladiator sandals.

Women who wear these atrocities should be forced to fight lions in a Coliseum-like setting. If that doesn’t do them in then they should be forced to follow some Jesus-like man around the desert for an entire year.

Point is these things are disgusting. Why on earth would you wear this? Are you trying to dress up as a Greek muse??? Like I said, I hate being THAT gay but it must be said. 

Say no to gladiator sandals. 

The Typo from Hell

Normally, typos go unnoticed. Spelling errors go on without so much as causing a disruption in daily life. Today though, one typo caused me to bring the fury of a thousand suns on an unsuspecting coworker.

I was given a task, a simple task, very easy. You see, I was given a date of 12/30/11. On this date I was to retrieve data. So I did my task with the honor and duty of a soldier going off to fight for his country. Fifteen minutes later, I’m done. 

End of story, right? Hahaha…no. Apparently, the date was suppose to be 12/03/11. HOW THE HELL DO YOU TRANSPOSE NUMBERS LIKE THAT? Are people this day in age that reckless? This kind of crap doesn’t fly in a military base! If you transpose numbers like that you could easily fire a missile to the White House instead of a-hole terrorist!

Like I said, these “typos,” these abominations in typing are overlooked. Well, not this time. I avenged the loss of my 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes in which I will never get back! I got on my desk and wielded my sword and yelled something incoherent but definitely sounded like English. I slashed at cubicles and smashed computers. I might have decapitated a few heads, I’m not sure. Point is, I drove my message into their psyche. Never ever screw up like that a again.

Truth is…I just rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth.