Friday, August 12, 2011

Reality Slaps Childhood Dream

So I’m taking one of the 30 or 40 walks I take throughout the day and I’m looking at the birds and lizards and thinking “wow…nature.” I says to myself, I says “I should’ve been a biologist!” Then I remembered how boring biology was in high school. Who the hell can keep up with cellular structure and reproduction? Still though…lizards and birds are cool. A lot more cool than, say, my current job. Here is a list of jobs I should have taken up:
Park Ranger. There is nothing more fun than chasing after bears who steal picnic baskets.
Air Force Pilot. This is probably one of the most stress free jobs ever because you can take out your frustration by bombing cities, buildings and your ex’s house.
Paleontologist. Two words: Jurassic Park.
Archaeologist. Uh, hello! Indiana Jones!
Jedi Master. Although it’s believed to be an extinct profession you should never underestimate the power of the Force!
Alchemist. A full metal alchemist to be exact, haha. But seriously, how cool would it be to turn a piece of cardboard into lunch?
Wizard. If Harry Potter could make it through Hogwarts with all that chaos, it should be a walk in the park for me. Assuming I can afford the tuition at Hogwarts, of course.
Bounty Hunter. You know, like in Cowboy Bebop.
Vampire Sheriff. Screw the sheriff part, I just want to be a vampire!
But back to reality, the current job openings are for Quality Control Analyst, Database Administrator and Portfolio Manager. None of these jobs require special powers or sound adventurous. Why would anyone apply?

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