Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Maybe we should have been politicians

I have a very basic idea how Congress may work and it goes a little something like this:
A senator might have a wonderful idea of introducing legislation that would help build roads, as an example. So Senator So-and-So introduces a bill that states “Congress will build new roads.”
Then some other asshole senator puts his goddamn two cents in and says “Better yet, let’s build highways!”
Another senator is like “well, I’ll vote for this if you attach a ‘no gum allowed’ law into this package.”
You also have to deal with the assholes who oppose the bill and try shooting it down for whatever reason.
Let’s not forget the jerks in the Finance Committee who say “we can’t afford this” or “we’re not going to pay for it.” 
Debates go on for a while, people add or change shit on the bill. Finally, you end up with a bill that looks like nothing like the original, “Congress will build new railroads and gum will only be allowed on Fridays, purple monkey dinosaurs rule.” Or the bill is killed and nothing gets done.
Does this process sound all too familiar? Then you’re probably one of my friends, hahaha.