And by murder I mean a string of food robberies. At work. From the company fridge. Mostly people’s hot pockets (I think).
Nonetheless, this is truly a heinous crime! Why, if it were up to me the culprit would be hanged in front of his/her coworkers and then put on display at the break room. Albeit, not as effective as being hanged, drawn and quartered...I suppose this is more humane.
I find it ironic, as I do most things, that while the company is celebrating “Customer Service Week,” employees are mourning the loss of their lunch. But! These crimes have yet to ruin the celebratory mood in the office, proven by management’s lack of concern over this matter. In fact, when brought to a manager’s attention I was lashed out at for barging into a meeting (or was it bathroom?).
Has my food been stolen? Hahaha…don’t be ridiculous. The day that happens may God have mercy on the soul(s) involved. I would make Dr. Mengele (Google him!) look like Mother Teresa!
Come to think of it...I would feel sorry for that person. I'd feel pretty shitty after running to his/her cubicle, causing a scene, making heads turn, cursing him/her out and then throwing the food in their face. On top of that, the person would get fired and would have to clear their desk all by themselves and make that shameful walk outside. All because he/she stole my Luncheables.
Anyway, that was the office gossip for the week and possibly next week when we catch our suspect!