Self Revelation and the Beach!

I know I can be a little possessive but it's a charming quality of mine, I swear it! Anyone who says otherwise doesn't appreciate my constant need for validation through "hanging out." 

Some friends of mine are heading to the beach on this fine and beautiful Sunday. Guess who was not invited? Me. Why? Is it because I live 340 miles away? Is it because driving up to their beach would be an inconvenience to me, cost me money in toll and gas, and also take about 3 hours to meet up? Maybe. Point is...I feel left out. So you know what? I'm going to the beach right here which is only 20 minutes away. Take that my-so-called friends from out of town! 

Even these goddamn birds are at the beach

I'm juggling two plans right now and betting (and hoping) that one of them will fall through. You see, in this crazy world that we live in you need to have a back-up plan and sometimes a back-up plan to the back-up plan. Plan A is to go out for lunch. Plan B is to go the beach instead and then go drinking. Which one will fall through? Which one will reign the champion plan? Stay tuned for more after the sun has gone down. 

One year later...

Has it really been a year since I spilled my heart out on the web? Yup. Sounds like me. Blogging is one of those things I take up, do it for a while, and then I drop cold turkey. A lot like working out, hobbies, being nice to people, and putting forth effort at work. 

What has changed in the last year? Well, I wish I could say a lot...actually, a lot has changed, I just can't bring myself to recall all that has changed. I am writing because I am bored and I can't find a thing to do. So writing will compensate for staying in tonight. Some things never change. Like when I go fishing for plans, hahaha, boy, do I never learn. 

So as to show some kind of activity on my account, I'll post. 

you'll never know

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society, I present the Tale of the Man with a Secret.

Yuuup...its true. There is a secret in our midst and only I know it. What a terrible secret it is too.  Its quite the burden to bare.  I'm just itching to share it. But I'm too chicken because here I am, hiding behind a blog, talking all cryptic.

I'll give one clue in the form of a picture.

Reality Bites

So read a book! Watch a movie! Lay back and daydream.

Modern Day Horror

I hate to be that gay guy giving fashion advice. I really do. However, I find that I really should tell you people about this. This horrible offense to the eyes. Gladiator sandals.

Women who wear these atrocities should be forced to fight lions in a Coliseum-like setting. If that doesn’t do them in then they should be forced to follow some Jesus-like man around the desert for an entire year.

Point is these things are disgusting. Why on earth would you wear this? Are you trying to dress up as a Greek muse??? Like I said, I hate being THAT gay but it must be said. 

Say no to gladiator sandals. 

The Typo from Hell

Normally, typos go unnoticed. Spelling errors go on without so much as causing a disruption in daily life. Today though, one typo caused me to bring the fury of a thousand suns on an unsuspecting coworker.

I was given a task, a simple task, very easy. You see, I was given a date of 12/30/11. On this date I was to retrieve data. So I did my task with the honor and duty of a soldier going off to fight for his country. Fifteen minutes later, I’m done. 

End of story, right? Hahaha…no. Apparently, the date was suppose to be 12/03/11. HOW THE HELL DO YOU TRANSPOSE NUMBERS LIKE THAT? Are people this day in age that reckless? This kind of crap doesn’t fly in a military base! If you transpose numbers like that you could easily fire a missile to the White House instead of a-hole terrorist!

Like I said, these “typos,” these abominations in typing are overlooked. Well, not this time. I avenged the loss of my 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes in which I will never get back! I got on my desk and wielded my sword and yelled something incoherent but definitely sounded like English. I slashed at cubicles and smashed computers. I might have decapitated a few heads, I’m not sure. Point is, I drove my message into their psyche. Never ever screw up like that a again.

Truth is…I just rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth.

By the pricking of my thumbs...

Something shitty this way comes! And that is how you introduce a storm heading your way. According to our shitty forecast, a hurricane should be here by maybe Thursday, Friday or Saturday. A very shitty forecast indeed.
 
There are some pros for a storm coming to destroy your hometown. For one, there may not be any work! Of course, my job will probably wait until the very last minute to tell us that we don’t need to come in the office because of the impending doom looming over us. Then there’s the yummy hurricane supply food you get to eat. Hurricane supply food usually consists of non-perishable items such as: chocolate chip cookies, deviled ham, chili beans, canned soup and more cookies.
 
What are the cons? Your house may get blown down. But above all, the scariest thing about a hurricane is losing power. We all know that with losing power you lose your internet, air  conditioning, computer usage and any other device you hold dear that runs on power. Sure, your iPod may be able to last a few hours without having to recharge. But what happens if you don’t regain power until 2 or 3 weeks after the storm? What then, huh!? You’re screwed!
 
For me this will be storm number…5? I’ve lost count. In any case, this should be fun! I’m always one for the unexpected. Except for water parks. Those things scare the fuck out of me.